That morning, political tides would shift entirely and for a brief moment in time, the planet would teeter on the edge of annihilation as a result of the first nuclear missile attack on North America.

With effortless grace and precision Melania falls backwards, checking her watch while doing so, and lands silently on the extremely creaky hardwood floor.

Now came the most challenging part of her day: dinner with Donald.

My elbow tilts a hot cup of coffee over, sending a wave of boiling hot bean water off the edge of the kitchen island onto the crown of the child standing just below. It screams, I feign distress.