That morning, political tides would shift entirely and for a brief moment in time, the planet would teeter on the edge of annihilation as a result of the first nuclear missile attack on North America.

My elbow tilts a hot cup of coffee over, sending a wave of boiling hot bean water off the edge of the kitchen island onto the crown of the child standing just below. It screams, I feign distress.

With effortless grace and precision Melania falls backwards, checking her watch while doing so, and lands silently on the extremely creaky hardwood floor.

Now came the most challenging part of her day: dinner with Donald.

‘She looks like she’s packing for a trip around the world with all those bags.’ she said to me with a sharp grin, pinching the taught skin under her own eyes where on Mrs. Adams there was nothing but grey loose flesh.